Grumpy Monday “What a shit day”

What a shit day.

Today I’ve discovered the following things that have made this Monday (incredibly) grumpy.

1. A 32 waist is no longer adequate for my arse.

2.  All the black shoes I’ve seen look like they’re from NEXT, unless you spank £150+

3.  I’m contemplating whether to invest in some decent Anti-ageing face moisturiser.  Boots Botanic range just isn’t for me – anymore.

4.  Anti-Perspirant’s don’t work.  Yes, no “white marks” but for fuck sake; my armpits should not resemble a slobbering kitty that’s just about to get smashed by a throbbing forearm.

5.  My road tax is 2 months out of date, and can’t renew it until my MOT has gone through.  The last time it cost me £700 – VDUB, innit.

6.  I’m still owed cash for some freelance work – which will help with number 5.

7.  Cheap coffee puts me to sleep.

8.  Fruit is shit.  Chocolate is mega – but one biscuit never enough.

9.  My hair is currently offside.  It’s beginning to resemble a Rudi’ Völler circa 1990.

10.  And finally.  Green is the colour of my faeces. Nope, haven’t got a clue either.

But hold up, wait a minute… not all is lost. THE INTERNET saves the day – again.  I owe you one.

Via @3ScubaSteve

I wonder how many drugs the following two kids have taken?

They everyday made lovely.

Right.  I need to go buy some shoes…

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