Grumpy Monday: “HAPPY VALENTINES DAY – the only day in the year I wouldn’t mind being single”

Today is the day where most men become under severe pressure to throw a large amount of their monthly wage towards a bunch of clichéd flowers, an extremely expensive, yet below “star” meal for two.  And, last but not least, a present that strikes an emotional chord with your loved one, not your bank.

Thank you, Pope Gelasius for establishing this day of hell.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY – the only day in the year I wouldn’t mind being single.

Yeah, that’s right.

Singletons, listen the fuck up.

Stop moaning and slap that frown off your face.

Think about it.  You’re actually getting away from a world of pain.

To all the single ladies, go out and treat your face to a makeover, transforming that frown to something a little more shagable, and then venture out to your nearest pretentious bar where you’ll find a horde of raging erections that will satisfy the most stubbiness of clits.

If that still doesn’t work, then head off to Soho and purchase the *NSFW* Black Mamba *NFSW* – I’ve heard it does wonders down below.

The decision is yours.

Frown all day, bringing misery to all that surround you, or do something about it.

Tonight I’ll be wining dining The Lady at our local fish joint.  There will be no flowers, because they’re the cheapest form of flattery know to mankind.

There maybe a present.

Below are the clips that will be making my Monday less grumpy:

1.  Jay Pharoah -” Will Smith/ DMX/ Eddie Murphy/ Chris Tucker “

2.  Hot New DANCE CRAZE Hits The South

3. Laughing Yoga Man

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