Another year bites the dust.

It’s that time of year again when the clouds of realisation and guilt impede on any happy thought you may have carried over from 2010; those skinny jeans don’t fit, your face isn’t your friend anymore – its red, blotchy and littered with inverse potholes with no tar in sight; just lukewarm off-green puss ready to explode during any facial twitch.

Not even your bank balance can provide relief.  Plans for January are cancelled so don’t even think about those sales.

And then we have our resolutions.  Like raucous farts – they come and go, but not this year (stick with me).

This year is an important one for me, so my resolutions carry weight in meaning.

I’m going to be 30.  THIR-TY!

Looking back beyond the moons I’ve seen, there isn’t much I regret doing.  The two I remember:

1.  Spending £16K on a chav-tastic polo (recently sold for £1500).  Seemed such a good idea at the time.

2. Abusing my body week in week out – 5 years on the trot – that’s clubbing for ya.  My body isn’t what it used to be.  Doesn’t heal as it used to.  Time to lay off the smack.  My mind, body and soul deserve a lot more respect.

So here I am and here are my resolutions:

1.  Write or be written off.
I’m going to be a student again – part time of course.  Screenwriting.  Plenty of ideas, but sparse knowledge of the required format to sell it in.  A year is ample enough time to get something written, signed and then shown on the box.

2.  Learn to implement.
Everyone can have ideas.  But they are dead before birth unless they see the world away from the inner pages of your moleskin.  Seek collaboration, share ideas and most importantly take on board criticism – if several people don’t get your idea, something may be wrong.

3.  Slow down.
The world and our surroundings are advancing forward, quicker by the millisecond.  That doesn’t mean we have to.  It’s time to slow down, craft those thoughts and ideas down to the finest details only you would question.  Make sure you know what you are talking about and not just repeating the words of others trying to sound superior – when in fact you sound dumber than dumb.

4.  Fine dine.
Enough of those nights drinking at Samuel Smith pubs, where the beer is cheap and miserable, leaving your wallet wounded and your taste buds destroyed.  I love booze and food.  This year I want to enjoy them both with friends and family sitting around a table during a full-bodied conversation, not having to pretend to like the people you’re with.  I want to eat venison whilst swigging down a bottle of Mazis-Chambertin, Armand Rousseau, 1995.

There are a few other resolutions, but they are the kind you’ve heard before.
2011 sounds good on pixels.  Let’s keep those testicles and ovaries crossed. – a little luck this year wouldn’t go amiss.

Enjoy the rest of your grumpy Monday, as it won’t be as bad as tomorrow when you go back to work (I go back on the 10th).

I’ll leave you with one tip for 2011 – Keep your feet on the ground.

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