Grumpy Monday – Knock knock knocking on Satan’s door.

19 days.  19 long, gruelling, argumentative days left before the phrase “it will be worth it” starts earning its keeps.

My experience in becoming a homeowner turned up a notch as we visited IKEA.

On paper – flicking through the catalogue at home with a brew and a cheeky hobnob is delightful.  But actually visiting in situ is a different story all together.

The Lady’s father arrived and we were off to IKEA in Croydon.

The two columns stood tall, acting like the gates to hell.

Was I ready to do this, you know, grow up, and become a man?

Today was the day I’d find out.

Walking past the exit, we noticed that people where coming out with smiles across their faces, but I also noticed a warm gooey substance slowly crawling down the corner of each person’s mouth.

Something derange was going on –deliverance came to mind.

They say you should never shop on an empty stomach – true ever so more when food shopping, but either way, we found ourselves shuffling towards the restaurant where the stench of meatballs hung out in the air.

Apart from the prison like manner in which the food, particularly the gravy was served in, it tasted de-licious.

Stomachs satisfied, it was now time to embark on the early stages of becoming a man.

The first surprise was to see how many people indulged with the furniture.  Fair enough, you test the product, but one female decided to catch up on some beauty sleep (see below).

I’ll tell you now, she needed more than a powernap.  How embarrassing.

I’m becoming more temperamental these days, more dad-like, those little things that I would let fly really begin to piss me off.

Here’s a crap joke/insight: What’s the difference between the people in IKEA and Oxford Circus? The people in IKEA are armed with fucking trolleys.

My ankles are still sore.

I’m definitely going to slap my kids – it never did me any harm.

Time flew and I wish I did too.  I’d be gone with the wind.  My sparrow ankles could take no more.

It’s like a holiday from hell.  Those last few days you would do anything to be in the comfort of your own home.  I would, well, it doesn’t matter what I would have done, the Croydon breeze suffice for now.

So, do I feel more manlike after my visit to IKEA?  Kind of, sort of, I’m not sure.

I guess the real test is when we actually buy furniture, the searching for parts, the queuing and then the loading and then the building.  It’s making me grumpier as I type.

I need lifting, some reason to smile.  Today’s links should help ease the burden that is Grumpy Monday:

Mischievous Banksy is back

Best wedding video EVER

The world’s smallest…

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