Kitchen Politics – TEAPOTGATE

It’s been a while since my last rant, so here goes.

The gap has grown between myself and I.  I’ve changed and turned into a househusband – #proud.

My family still grasp tightly onto their Asian roots – women belong in the kitchen and men rein supreme in the living room.

One day, my dad had a visit from a very uninvited act from God (who else), a stroke, knocking him down, dragging him away from his manly world of cash and carries, driving HGVs, fixing cars, raising his hands… towards a life filled with Brillo pads, prune like hands, Mr Sheen EDT, green fingers and so on.  He’s almost OCD – give it a couple of years.

Those roots grew into something little more modern.

Mum grew balls (not literally) and started to bring home the Aubergine.

Now (after being forced to stay at home) I understand the urge to grab a sponge as soon as a stain appears within arms reach, or to grab the dirt devil if a crumb makes contact anywhere it shouldn’t do, not to mention the constant folding of the Lady’s clothes, piled to perfection on her side of the bed for when she returns home from work.

There are something’s that will never change, but why can’t people clean up after themselves?

Here are a few excuses you’ve either used or heard:

“I’m late for work, I’ll do it when I come back”

This develops to:

“I’ve had a really busy day, I will do IT after I’ve had some food and a brew”

Four days gone by, the plates, cutlery and mugs have all piled up to create an installation you’d see at Central St Martins degree show, not to mention the bits of pasta and cheese acting like a dam, thus creating something like The Citarum, in MY kitchen sink!

Here’s my dilemma, situation: TEAPOTGATE (image below)

That’s my TEA POT.  I didn’t use it.  The Lady didn’t use it.  I even asked Bubba (the cat), he didn’t use it – although he could be lying.

Four days have now passed and the levels of ignorance are reaching the peak of mount Kilimanjaro; the mould smiles from down below.

This would all be avoided if people followed one rule (like ‘Spliff Politics’, but just 1):

1.    Clean after use – plates, bowls, cutlery, glasses, TEA POTS, and so on.

It’s simple, really fucking simple.

I don’t want to start a Royal Rumble, but it needs to be cleaned.  My nails are suffering and I may have to move onto the toenails.  What should I do?  Go head on with the Teapot, brush aside my pride and clean it, or let it be and slowly drop hints to the culprit?


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