Sorbet Eye Brows…wtf?

It was Sunday, the fat off the roast was dancing erratically, the lady had gone for a walk, and I needed to break free from the walls that surrounded me since Saturday morning.  Off to the corner shop I went, walking past Millennium Chicken, congratulating myself for going past the 5 week fasting mark – I feel cured.  The Sunday Times would be my treat and savour.

I sprinted back to the flat, holding my breath, trying not to inhale any of the evil vinegary fried chicken smell that loitered in the air.  I ripped the plastic cover off with ease and sifted through the segments until I found the Style Mag – the lady is always first to grab it, I finally get my hands on it Thursday or Friday.  I can’t wait to see what trends are going up and down, mainly so I can laugh at the idiots who decided to jump on the fashion wagon, before looking in the mirror and asking themselves a simple question: “Do I look like a retarded midget wearing…?”

My thumb quickly takes me to page 5 (see image below).

Fuck me sideways and spit in my eye; ahoy Pirate!  Clog Mania is going DOWN.  Either someone at the Style Mag had read my blog or other fashionistas share the hatred and the news spread fast.

Now, if you read the item beneath Clog Mania, I’m referring to Sorbet Brows!  WTF is that all about?  Someone please explain, as I can’t be arsed to search myself.

This takes me tediously to the next fashion fuckup that I’ve recently noticed during my commute into work – drawn on eyebrows.

Below are some classic examples:

Now, I do apologise if you’ve lost them as a result of cancer, but as you can see from the images, those ladies don’t seem to be suffering, they went for the shaved look.  Why?

When I was 13 I shaved off my eyebrows.  It was something I’ve never repeated ever again – I wouldn’t recommend it, unless you admire the ladies above.

I wonder what will be on the ‘going up and down’ scale next week.  Here are my predictions:

Going up

Smiling – it’s free and everyone can do it.

Broaches – men should always wear one with their jackets.

Going down

I’ll you the readers to  decide what must go down and die via the comments.

I’ll send a fiver out to the person who is closest.

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